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Another muggle has had his hopes and dreams crushed by Hogwarts, as the UK’s university admission service UCAS denied his application at the mythical school.

In a cheeky letter one UK student tried applying to the prestigious magical school, probably without any hope of response. Little did he know UCAS was more than willing to meet his challenge:


“Dear Applicant,

We regret to inform you that your application to the stated establishment cannot be processed at this time due to the fact that it does not exist. After consultation with our mystic advisors we have also determined that even if ti did exist, the course “Wandology” would be highly in demand and hence require at least two As and a B in any of the following subjects:

  • Advanced Spellcrafting
  • Mystimatics
  • Defence Against the Dark Arts
  • History of the Occult
  • Shaft Design

Your hand written grade sheet claiming top marks in “Waving a stick about”, “Wearing a pointy hat” and “Watching Paul Daniels TV Specials” sadly is not suitable for submission, however by applying through clearing you may be suitable for a selection of Liberal Arts courses. Alternatively you may wish to resubmit next year by tying your letter to an owl and hoping for the best.

On behalf of UCAS I wish you every success
Looks like this squib won’t be making the cut for the world’s most famous magical institution.”

H/T: Joe