Have you got a boring job that does your head in every single day? There’s a new type of job that could be calling your name seductively: professional masturbator.

One lucky UK lady will get the exact opportunity, with a UK adult store now offering a full-time job with a £28,000 salary as the store’s professional sex toy reviewer.

The job requires the staff member to stay at home for two days a week to test the toys, with three days in-office with private healthcare, discounted gym membership and a trip on the annual staff retreat all included.

They will required to test out all the stores lingerie, sex toys, sex games and producing written and video reviews of said products. But no videos of the staff member actually using the toys…sorry boys.


A store spokesperson told the BBC that their “sex toys range from simple to risqué and as a responsible provider of a huge catalogue of sex toys, [we] feel it necessary to both have and share a good understanding of all products, and be able to inform the public about all perks and pitfalls.”

“Giving sound information and advice is truly important to us, and we want to be a platform that gives factual, honest and clear advice.”

While this particular staff member will have a lot of fun during the main role of their job, psychology lecturer Mark Seargeant believes workers worldwide would benefit from a cheeky tug away from their desks, boosting focus and increasing productivity.


That suggestion is also supported by psychologist and life coach Doctor Cliff Arnall.

“ I would expect a masturbation policy to result in more focus, less aggression, higher productivity, and more smiling”, Arnall said to Metro.

“Certainly, taking a masturbation break for boredom or an escape would increase work focus.”

There are some drawbacks however, with staff members prone to imparing themselves with fantasies around work colleagues. Hello human resources!

You’d also have to perform the act discreetly and quietly, not under your desk with the sound on your computer.

One day the world will be a much more accepting place. Until then, keep your pants on till you get home creeps.